St. Augustine's Confessions has caused me to look at the decisions
that I have made in the past, and reflect on whether or not I have developed a
sense of purpose in my life. Since I was a child, my mother has always
been very religious. Much like St Augustine's own mother, my mother found
Catholicism to be a very integral aspect required in both the lives of my
sister and I. She enrolled us in Sunday school during my early youth, hoping
that it would be a huge influence on our lives. However, as soon as I completed
my First Communion, I did not find it necessary to go back. In my perspective,
it was just another thing to mark off of my checklist. It was not for another
eleven years that I began to feel a need to return to the Church.
I find it very
problematic when parents try to force their children to believe in something
that they don't understand fully. I am not accusing my own mother of doing
this, for when I decided to stop going to Church, she never tried to make me go
against my will. She merely introduced me to the faith, and let me follow the
course of my own beliefs. I think that I was not ready for a religious
commitment in the same manner that St. Augustine was not ready for it either. I
finally reached a point in my life where I found that religion was essential to
my identity. To understand my humanity and my relation to others and to God has
enriched my perspective on what I am meant to be doing. Therefore, I have
realized that there has been a complete reorientation of the manner in which I
make decisions.
Sometimes it’s
difficult because I am aware of how young people my age are, and I hear so many
people say "We're only young once". However I disagree with this
motto to a degree where the severity of our mistakes is disregarded. There
comes a point in our lives when you have to stop making decisions only in
relation to yourself, and think about it in perspective to the world that you
live in. My faith has allowed me to realize that I live in a community of
people and that we are all united in that we share the same life. After reading
Confessions, I am glad to have discovered this early in my youth as opposed to
so much later in my life like St. Augustine. He realizes the amount of time
that he has lost indulging in the immediate pleasure of his youth in comparison
to the joy which his relationship to God has given him. I have definitely found
this realization to have come at a great time in my life, and therefore St.
Augustine’s reflection has allowed me that it is important for me to have this
sense of purpose now, rather than later in my life. It ultimately makes every
decision of mine much more significant to myself and my developing identity as
a Catholic.