Elimination of fear through Overcoming of Tragedy

"How should members of a tradition respond when their tradition is implicated in tragedy or evil?"

When I was a child, I would always dread the moment when I would first walk into church. My parents always made sure to arrive a couple of minutes early, just in time for us to make our way over to the giant statue of Jesus' crucifixion that was right at the entrance of mass. I remember it perfectly, the way that Jesus would look down at me in agony. I remember the blood stains all over his wounds, and the nails that were pounded into his hands and feet. I watched as people would stare right into his face, and tenderly place their hands on his wounds. My mother always would urge me to do so as well, but I always rejected her offer as I found myself to be experiencing complete and immediate fear at the thought of it. I just simply could not comprehend how people could purposely confront such a gruesome image, and then symbolically put themselves in the situation by relating to it and TOUCHING it. I was scared of it all. And this image made me somewhat afraid of all that was religious and that which is labeled as "holy". It all always brought me back to that image.

So how exactly should one react to the traditions of the church when its origin derives from a tragedy? That is a question that I have struggled with since my childhood when I watched those people embracing Jesus in that graphic depiction of his crucifixion. This image made me fear Jesus. With the look of agony that the statue gave me, I could not help but feel guilty as well. I felt that his look was a cry for help, and there I was, doing nothing. Therefore, I also feared that Jesus would spite me. And growing up I thought that the only way I could escape that fate was by completing the rituals that the Church offered. I found that there was no alternative to that because if I didn’t follow through with the traditions, I would be punished by God.

Now that I am older, I still believe that my initial reaction to the Church and its rituals is a very natural one. The crucifixion of Jesus is a very dark and powerful image that requires maturity to confront. And initially fear is how I approached it and what motivated me to follow the Church’s traditions. However, as a child I lacked the understanding that Jesus died for our sins. It was something that I heard all of the time, but I never understood what it meant until very recently in my life. It is at this point when I started to approach the church and its traditions very differently. It is not something I have to do anymore, but something I choose to do. Understanding the tragedy behind the crucifixion allows us as Catholics to understand why we follow through with the traditions of the church. Most importantly, it gives us purpose and erases that fear which we may initially feel. It is difficult to know how to react to tragedy, but overcoming it eliminates fear and allows for development in one's faith.